Racism 4 Lyphe

Haih

2010-02-22T02:00:00.001+08:00

Happy chinese new year to everyone =]

An Invitation

2009-11-04T18:15:00.015+08:00

This blog has been dead for awhile. Sadly, so has the bonds between us.

Now, an opportunity has surfaced.

My good friend and classmate is organizing a trip to this island called Pulau Kukup. He seemed to be quite experienced in this and I trust his taste. He kept on emphasizing on the food there. I had never heard him spoke of food this passionately before.

It'll be 3 days 2 nights.

1st day - Pulau Kukup by bus, then boat. (I love boat rides!)

According to this organizer, he has been there before and his grandmother used to organize a trip like this. One thing that he emphasized a lot on, is the FOOD.

I think there would be a nice beach there too.

2nd day - KL

We'll be going to Sunway. We'll be going ice-skating! Something I personally wanted to do for a long time. Or you can choose the water park. It's negotiable.

3rd day - KL and back

I'm not too sure what's going on here. Maybe we'll be leaving in the morning, after breakfast perhaps.

Anyone who reads this post, has the right to participate. This is an invitation to ALL, though it's exclusively for the SC. That's why it's posted here.

**Details**
1. Price : RM 200, insurance included.
2. Date : 28th - 30th of November '09
3. Confirm with me As Soon As Possible because there's still a FORM you need to fill.

4. 20 slots left!

I'll keep you updated about the number of slots left! Maybe make a lil' countdown. ^^

I, member of the Selak Clan, sincerely invite the Selak clan, for another opportunity to unleash our inner SELAKNESS!

Do, leave some comments or whatever in the chatbox.

Happy Birthday Jordan Chia

2009-10-21T23:21:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday To Quek Ven Chin.

2009-08-06T01:19:00.002+08:00

Before further ado, I'd like to apologize for the late wish; but nevertheless,

Happy 16th Birthday, Quek!

Sincerely from;

JT the Selak Philosopher.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-29T21:06:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday JAYWEN !

SC ROCKS YOUR ~~cocks~~ SOCKS !!!!

R.I.P

2009-07-01T23:37:00.003+08:00

Ini blog mati for 2months already.
Went mgm with SK last week.

Haiz .WHAT HAPPENED to selak clan ?????????????????????????????????

A Fallen Cause.

2009-04-26T20:29:00.003+08:00

A tribute to a fallen cause. Starring: Tengku, Love Guru and Lee.

Friday Night.
24th April 2009.

Happy Birthday Adededededelene.

As the picture might suggest, lil miss Addy has turned 16. Another 16 year old. She had a gathering at 'Zack's Corner', a shop located in a secluded corner in the town of Kuantan. 11 years living in Kuantan and I didn't know that place existed. Shocker.

The party was nice. I enjoyed myself. The birthday girl looked nice in her red dress. A lil miss someone dressed up too, apparently. White dress with stripes, eh? Adlene also entertained us with live music and she herself is a non-too-shabby singer.

Now for the SELAK part of this story.

Upon arrival, I was greeted by the Love Guru. He was all alone, amidst unknown men. Barely floating in the see of utter non-SELAK. Thus, when he saw the Tengku arriving, he was able to defy the non-SELAK-ians and uttered a phrase wrought of SELAK.

" WOW. For Tengku must come in and drop off! "

Indeed, Love Guru. After saying my hello's, the inner SELAK awoke and phrases of impudence were uttered.

" ******* everywhere, huh? Some ******s too, i see. "

Truly, may it be to the left or to the right, them ******** were to be seen everywhere while only one small group of ******s can be seen to the side. Hafizol and Adam too were there. Asides me, Najwa too graced us with her presence all the way from KL. Lee, of course took his precious time only to arrive in one of the gayest shirt that he has ever worn.

As a proud Selakian, I resolved to make Adlene's party a funky one by causing some SELAK with the Love Guru and the High-Pitched-One (a.k.a Lee). We were successful to a degree but the many ******** hindered us in our cause to SELAK-afy the party. Back up was severely needed by the other SC members. Sadly, 'twas just the 3 of us. Tengku. Love Guru. Pondan. We failed. Them ******** were too many.

As a result. The Love Guru had to pay penance. Twice. His melodic voice was extorted out of his body and the Love Guru was forced into giving the birthday girl a lil peck on the cheek. We couldn't save him. We needed back up. Nevertheless, the Love Guru survived both ordeals with his head held up high.

SELAK CLAN WAS PROUD OF THE LOVE GURU THAT NIGHT.

Evidence of the Love Guru's second ordeal, however, was lost amidst the chaos. Luck you, eh? Soon after that, Adlene cut her birthday cake and we chucked ourselves with cake. A tradition at all parties.

Not longer after that, people started to excuse themselves as the night has gone late. Soon too did I excuse myself from the party to stop at a nearby Murtabak stall before going back home.

- Nazim

Temptation.

2009-04-18T15:35:00.002+08:00

The need for another reunion:

Due to the pestering of a fellow blogger, i shalt finally update my olden-and-not-so-active blog.

This time, since i've no topic whatsoever to talk about, i shall talk about TEMPTATION. Guys, if you read this, hold up and keep your hands still. THE BEACH. Yes, the beach is a wondrous place to go. It's like a seductress making you yearn to go there, on and on. Not only that, once you're in her grasp, when you're there at the beach, the seduction becomes worse. Many have lost their sanity to this temptation. You go to the beach, yet you do not 'mandi' in it. You just sit by the beach. Walk along the beach. Have a picnic by the beach, say perhaps. However, you still DO NOT 'mandi' in the beach. Many have lost their sanity thanks to that temptation.

Here, my tale starts. We were at the beach. It was a beautiful sunny clear blue sky. The ocean was the blue of the sky. Foamy and Wavy. What more could a guy ask for? Good company? Good food? Meru by your side? Yes, those would make the situation all too nicer but the temptation still remained. The burning urge to go and 'mandi' in the all to tempting ocean. The beach is a clever seductress. The ocean was there, waves slowly lapping the shore. With an all to clear-blue sky, I was tempted. As the line goes, 'malang tidak berbau'. It was an impromptu trip to the beach from the tennis court. I was in shoes. No extra clothes. AND I WAS AT THE FRIGGIN BEACH, unable to 'mandi'.

The temptation was all too great. I succumbed. I took off my shoes and socks and walked to the shoreline. Like a fool, transfixed with a thing of ecstasy, i stood there. Not sure whether to walk into the waiting ocean or to turn back and walk off, away from the all too tempting ocean. I walked on. Went into the ocean, just to feel the ocean. To have a feel of the cool water against skin on a hot afternoon. It was all to tempting.

The point is, the beach is a wondrous place to go. My recent ventures to the beach has not been fully appreciated lately. Either 'kacau-ed' by some unseen disturbance or the lack of 'mandi' in the beach. SC, we need to go to the beach. Can't fully appreciate the beach if we don't go 'mandi' in it, now can we?

- Nazim

Back in ACTION

2009-04-18T00:03:00.002+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS!

2009-03-06T00:20:00.005+08:00

Congrats to Quek for winnin #8 and jaywen #15 in Smkaa's merentas desa on 21st of Feb.

#15

Sports day 28th Feb -
Quek won in
100m - #1
400m - #1
4x100m - #2

*Selak clan must motivate each other ~~with McD~~ *

Valentine's Day

2009-02-15T10:00:00.001+08:00

Once again this day of days come to past. Valentine's day. The day where people express their love. Towards people? Towards animals? Towards plants? Could you also express love towards inanimate objects?

"Happy Valentine's! I love AngPaos!"

Is that even possible? Would it be wrong then to do such a thing? Many are the weird things that humanity do. So in conjunction with this day of days, "Happy Valentine's" I say.

Happy Valentine's Day

- Nazim

Selak Clan goes futsal!

2009-02-11T00:56:00.001+08:00

You want to see the Selak Clan goes maniac in a haunted house; you've got it.
You want to see the Selak Clan walking across the TC1 to TC2 bridge in the middle of the night; you've got it.
You want to see the Selak Clan running on a escalator that's going on the opposite direction; you've got it.
You want to see the Selak Clan playing futsal; YOU'VE GOT IT!

So its every Selak Clan member against another team (without Jay Wen & Nazim). I shattered their defenses and claimed the FIRST BLOOD title with a close range volley from Quek's corner cross. Then, with Quek and Danesh playing upfront, goal scoring is unevitable. I think it was 6-2 when I stopped counting, and then 9-4 later in the game.

It was a fun, arduous game though I witnessed some ~~lethal~~ illegal sliding tackles flying here and there, then a guy ~~stomped~~ stepped on my foot. He's nearly twice my weight and had football boots, ouch.

There are times when I had the ball and no one's in my way, I wanted to rocket the ball into the back of the net but my mercy is limiting my prowess. Rule number one: There's no need to smash the ball in with all your manly might when you're playing with someone who doesn't do the same.

A funny picture. Wong in shock, Danesh waiting for a low cross, Jerome making his presence felt and Jordan kicking an invisible ball.(?)

Jerome played pretty good actually, with some crucial runs at the sidelines nearly provided himself with a goal.

Nearing the end of the game, there's something happened. Something extraordinaire but nevertheless, I am not granted the proper obligations to write about it haha.

The Selak Clan, now reigns over futsal too.

Lee! Don't worry, even if I have reached BEYOND GODLIKE, I'll still lure some ~~heroes~~ goals for you. keke.

-- Selak Philosopher @ JT.

A Day at School

2009-02-10T20:42:00.000+08:00

9th February 2009

Another Monday and another Monday did we have off. Nicholas and I were to visit SMKAA that morning, around 10 o'clock. As all Malaysians go, our appointment was delayed for half an hour thanks to the distraction caused by the moving images that was played on a box screen [ a television? ].

As soon as we arrived at School, we went to take the 'Pas Pelawat' and we headed to the 'Bilik Guru' as Nicholas wanted to see some teachers. After that, we headed to the office as I had to give certain official stuff to Cikgu NorAsmara.

"Eh? You're here again?"

Still, you don't get tired hearing that line. We walked over to the Canteen to see the Lower Secondaries before heading to the Upper Secondaries class. Met Jocelyn again at the Canteen.

"I knew you were coming today!"

ahh. 3 Cekap.

We were intercepted by Quek, and some other prefects as they were heading to the Canteen earlier ahead since they had to go do their duties later on.

"Eh, you here again ar?"

As soon as the bell rang, signifying the Upper Secondaries recess, I was greeted by JW with a laugh. He honestly didn't expect to have seen me at SCHOOL just A WEEK after I went there. Ahh, never be fooled, JW. And so was their reactions when they saw me. My fellow Selakians, Danesh, Lee, Quek and Jordan.

Lee and Danesh

Bernice C.

Mana Jerome and JT?!

Kampung Boy

Saiful and Aznan

Studying, I see

Aznan H.

Danesh K. (a.k.a. SK) actually studying?!?!?!

Nicholas and I hanged out a while with the guys until it was nearly 12 o'clock. We left as soon as their Teacher arrived, Pn. Haslinda. It was a blur, but did we all not move fast to stay in order when she entered 4 Cekal?

- Nazim

Ahh, School.

2009-02-03T20:45:00.002+08:00

This is a copy of the version that i wrote at my blog. You can view the original one here.

Federal Territory day [ also known as F.T. day ]
For Tengku day, eh, Lee?
2nd February 2009

After a month of tutelage in KL, I finally got the chance to go back to SMK Alor Akar. Since my school got the FT day holiday and it was on a Monday, I decided to visit my old school in Kuantan. Might as well spend another day in Kuantan since it was a holiday.

'Pas Pelawat'. Saw others wore 'em but never had the reason to wear one. Now i do.

Objectives:
Get Leaving Certificate.
Get Co-Co Certificate.
Get Oral Certificate.
Mock the Guys.
Upon arival at the front gate, I told the guard of my objectives and I was let in. Before passing on further inside, I collected the Pas Pelawat and walked to the 'Bilik Guru'. My heart beat faster with nervousness and the feeling of leaping into the unknown.

Stepping into the 'Bilik Guru' and I was thrust into a world filled with nostalgia. I saw Cikgu Normaziah, my wonderful BM teacher, there at her usual spot, by the back entrance of the 'Bilik Guru'. She looked puzzled at first to see me before her face lit up in a smile and asked how I was.

Ahhh, how nostalgia ruled my soul that day. After collecting and catching up with Cikgu Normaziah, I met the other teachers there as well. Finally, I was able to meet certain teachers like Cikgu Razak, Uztaz Ifzam and Mr. Teo. I wasn't able to meet and thank them for all that they thought me on PMR-Result-Day.

After meeting the teachers, I headed to the Canteen as it was the Lower Secondary recess period. Met up and caught up with the now-Form-3s. Ahh, Jocelyn, we meet again. Met up with the rest as well. Sharmin and the gang, Maey Synn, Ashley, Suthesan, Vasuki and the rest as well.

The bell soon rang signifying the end of the Lower Secondary recess. No matter, we chatted on till it was time for them to go into class and time for the Upper Secondary to prowl the Canteen for whatever food was left. I went in the direction of their class to intercept the guys, though apparently THEY intercepted me.

"MELAYUUUU!!"

Ah, Danesh, school is just not the same without your flamboyant SELAK-ness. Met up with JW, SK, Lee, Nafiis, Aruni *again* *cough* and others before we walked to the canteen. Our journey there was interrupted when SK, Lee and Nafiis were called into HEM's (Hal Ehwal Murid) room. No shocker there. While JW and I waited outside, I caught up with Luqman, Azanan, Nadzmi and Iqmal.

Apparently a lot of the guys got SBP or so? Well then, Kudos to you guys. As soon as The-HEM-Called-Ones got out of HEM's office, we went to the Canteen. 3 years of me cursing the food at the Canteen and this year, the year I'm not there, they changed canteen operators. I quote Jo, "Where is the fairness in this world?". At the canteen, met up with the other guys.

As of every beginning there is an ending. The bell soon rang and the guys had to go back to class, I tagging along to send them off. Before leaving the Canteen, I finally got to meet up with Quek and Chuan. haha.

"Eh, why are you here?"

Never get tired of that question, I tell you. We then left Quek to eat with some other guys since he just got back from some Geography meeting. As we arrived at the block which was where the Form 4-mers' class was located at, I met Bernice, Shirley and JY. There, we chatted a while and caught up.

As we went to the upper floor of the block, we found out that Aruni, Bernice, JY, SK and JW's teacher were already in their class [ they are in the same class -> 4 Cekal ]. So i bid them farewell and it was the end - for them. I walked on to the end of the corridor to do some final Selaks and say my goodbyes to the rest. I passed 4 Cekal once more, on my way back.

However, it was not meant to be and that there was a last SELAK to be done. As i was about to head to the front gate, I finally caught up with AlVin. Apparently, he just came back from somewhere. So we went up to his class so he could take his Physics books as he was late for class. So i passed 4 Cekal again. JW and SK were obviously not paying attention in class and saw me pass by. Ah, there the LAST SELAK act for the day was upon me.

Nazim: What class do you have now?
AlVin : Physics at Physics Lab.
Nazim: Okay. Let's go this way. Lalu their class.

Again, I passed 4 Cekal and SK and JW were starting to Selak at my passage. Ah, the joy in which YOU must stay put in class while I pass by undeterred. No Selak should end so fast, and so it did not. As i was coming down, again, I met Quek. He too came late and had to take his Physics book. Again did we pass 4 Cekal, this time our party included Quek. Ah, the faces of SK, JW, Aruni, Bernice and Jy. All whom tried to control their laughter while we walked past their class AGAIN and AGAIN!

Nazim: Quek, lalu that way. We kacau them.

And so we did. Luck smiled upon me and we met up with Aiman. Another of Quek and AlVin's class who has yet to take his Physics book. As before, with an additional member to the party, we passed by 4 Cekal to the uncontained laughter of SK and JW upon seeing us pass their class for sixth time without being scolded by the teacher. After taking Aiman's books, again did we pass 4 Ceria upon Quek's suggestion.

Quek : Eh, Physics lab over there, right? We have to go that way. *smiles mischievously*
Nazim: *laughs* Please don't be immature, Quek. Want to lalu their class AGAIN ar?

And so we did. The LAST PASSING by in the LAST SELAK act of the day. This time, nearly the whole class who found out about our little trick laughed as we passed their class yet again. True to ourselves, we passed their class for the eighth and final time to go to the Physics Lab.

There we parted and I headed my way back to the front gate and off from that place filled with nostalgic memories. My co-conspiratirs, Quek, AlVin and Aiman, I thank thee. Goody bye, SMK Alor Akar.

P.S. Still waiting for my Leaving Certificate.

- Nazim

Gamblers Advice

2009-01-28T04:17:00.002+08:00

You might wanna avoid :

1. the colour red. From the common sense of the superstitious gamblers, they think red is the colour for the matadors..

You don't want a bull to head butt your underpants. Considering what you have under it.

2. Green is also something the ox eats. Or else you'll frequently hear the banker at the table saying :"EAT YOUR MONEY!". You get what i mean?

A friendly, selak tip, from your pal. It's just common sense. Believe it or not?

Happy Chinese New Year.

-Selak Jer.

Cina New Year.

2009-01-27T23:18:00.003+08:00

Firstly, the Tengku bids all you cina-man and cina-WOman(s) out there a happy Cina NY. AngPao?

What cina zodiac is it this year?

Orcs?

Box?

Socks?

oh cheh, OX.

P.S. very lame. lol

- Nazim

Happy Chinese New Year

2009-01-27T12:18:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to YOU!
Wishing you a happy & prosperous New Year

-SeLaK Clan-

-Lee-

2 pics and 1 vid

2009-01-27T12:14:00.004+08:00

Click Here!

Special thx to myself for updatin this blog :D
-Lee-

A very 'biasa' bbq~

2009-01-05T16:33:00.004+08:00

It was like any other barbecue party. There was people, foods, drinks and no pok.

That morning, i've mastered the technique of mind-reading just for fun.

Then, we went to the bbq party. I got lost because the house was so small and so obvious. I had difficulty finding the house, so i asked Quek to guide me there.

Soon enough, he came, accompanied by Lee. We all went to the house together.

Summary in a sentence:
We had bbq, some pink concoction and played water.

When we first reached there, Jason was there and a bunch of other girls. Not many guys though. Still, the guys sorta ruled the party.

I guess crazy stuff happens when you mix selakness with other things. Everything started out very cool and slow. Tasting the still-experimental selak boost juice, many got affected. The source of the juice is classified. Once consumed, the selak-ing will be boosted by 200%. So powerful that even the Gods envy us. (That explains the rains).

Since you didn't have to pay for water when you're in DA TENGKU'S HOUSE, we used the water as if there's no tomorrow. The amount of water we used, could probably save millions of lives in Africa. Then again, it's not our fault that they don't have water! Yet, i still feel there wasn't enough water. Probably it would only if it were raining heavily. Again, it was because the Gods were envious.

By the time we finished eating.. Terror and utter chaos raged! Fear spreading like bird-flu. Then just before you can say:"Aaa! I din bring any extra clothes~", you're all drenched. The wrath of the Selak Clan, UNLEASHED!

By then, all you can say is:" Kena dah~"

Some vengeful souls tried to fight back. So it's like a circle. We hit them, they hit back. We hit them, they hit back. We don't hit them, they hit back also! Then, everyone was 'high'.

At the end of the day, everyone suffered casualties. Wet clothes. On their faces are written the very words :" I'm gonna get spanking from my momma..". Now you've witnessed our wrath, there's no escape from us (and your momma)!!

---Not too far away, a small village caught on fire. They didn't have any water because all the water in town was channeled to town to sustain a little water party. In the end, no one survived the fire. Men, women and children... perished. Estimated deaths more than 200 people. There was no remains, only ashes. Only ashes...

Reporting from da Selak channel. Thanks for watching and have a good evening. Hope that you all that went to the party, slept well.

Happy New Year~

-Selak jer

FAREWELL

2008-12-31T03:19:00.001+08:00

THANKS FOR ATTENDING THE PARTAY, SELAK CLAN!

it was a blast!

- Tengku

Selak Clan videos.

2008-12-26T02:15:00.003+08:00

Here are some videos I've recorded during my times with the Selak Clan. An example of what little things in our conversations can be exaggerated into the next biggest news hit since Global Warming.

Selak Clan @ Genting Highlands.
Host: Danesh & Quek.
Cameraman: JT.

Selak Clan @ TC2 > TC1.
Host: Danesh.
Cameraman: Danesh.

Stay tuned for more videos.

-- JT @ Selak Philosopher.

Misadventures of Quek and Jer (selak version)

2008-12-22T15:33:00.004+08:00

It was a lovely morning and there's people going up and down Bukit Pelindung at that time. Me and Quek were teamed up by our superiors (fate). We planned to meet at the foot of the hill (Terrorists Gathering Place) at 7am. Then when i was on my way there, i was ambushed my Counter Terrorists. Luckily, there was only 10 of them, and they had their bullpups and mavericks aiming at me. They put holes through me and the milk that i had this morning has flowed out of my body. "****!". I got so angry that i knife-ed them all. Killing them, softly.

So because of that intervention, i was late and Quek went ahead and hiked Pelindung. He said he needed warm-up so he went to the peak and came back down. We rendezvous at a little hut on the way up. Then i realized that the superiors (Tengku) sent a couple of girls to help us out, probably because he thought we had no balls or sth.

We sneaked through the jungle and reached TC after about 15 minutes. Inside, our only obstacles are the HUGE spiderwebs. The formation was single file lead by me, then succeeded by Quek because i could no longer bear the torment of the spiderwebs, sticking all over me.

Quek lead us to TC and we came to a wooden bridge that links tc1 to tc2. We decided to travel on the rocks because we thought that if we traveled on the bridge, we'll be sitting ducks for the snipers hiding in the trees.

Our mission is to plant a C4 in MacDonalds because they put too much salt in our French Fries the last time we went.

But first we need to scout out the perimeter and also, find lunch. Then we spotted a big bunch of enemies at the front door of MacDonalds. There were around 7-8 girls throwing smiles and waving hands at us. Ugh! Me and Quek were caught unawares and was severely injured. So we went to search for some food to recover our strength

Since Hoi Yin was closed that day, we went for Nasi Lemak at a Nasi Lemak stall just behind Kuantan's Fried Chicken. It costed me RM3 for a Nasi Lemak and Bandung. Since the food was so good, a troop of monkeys crossed the road just to look at it! But the Malays there are an eye sore to me, disrupted my appetite. I'm sympathize them because they have to abstain from pork. (cackles gleefully)

So in the end of the day, we spent time sitting at the beach, planning our offence. Then .. we were just to lazy to destroy MacDonalds. Then, we went back to our barracks and called it a day.

-MISSION FAILED-

-selak Jer

Christmas Partay!

2008-12-19T02:36:00.002+08:00

Greetings and Salutations.

Jacee and Jasmine had a pre-christmas bash just now. Selak Clan with the exception of JW, Jerome and SK was there to contribute some SELAK-ness. We had a water baloon/plain-old-fashioned-water-from-a-hose/ iced-water fight. Quek, Nazim and Jason fought valiantly in the H2O War. however, no war is complete without casualties. the three of us suffered severe water damage whilst Jordan and Lee sat inside the house sucking on their thumbs. did their SELAK-ness abandon them too soon in the fight against all that is not SELAK?! Nazim, fought valiantly through the whole battle. Being the only Malay, he thrashed the other CHINESE asses with pure H2O fury. Quek and Jason helped too. but they weren't much of the battle as the MELAYU was. Unfortunately, we have no pictures to be posted currently as our offiicial photographer (Jason) was part of the battle. I will try to acquire some pictures from the other party atandees.

P.S. it was a bloody ass nice partay!

- Tengku

Black Man, White Hair

2008-12-15T02:05:00.002+08:00

Greetings. so i was at Medan these past few days, and i saw this man, an Indian. he was walking casually along the road to wherever-it-is that he's going. he was quite an elderly type. he had WHITE hair. so it was quite odd, cuz i rarely see old indian people. so imagine a black dude, with WHITE hair. it was quite a sight for me cuz as i said earlier, i rarely see old indian people. the common wonders of life.

so when's our next meeting?

- Tengku

"Anyone can be selak, but not everyone is Selak Clan Material"

2008-12-09T00:17:00.004+08:00

Selak Clan has gone cyber... Know now, that your days as a reader will be filled with torment, cruelty and racist jokes. For we are, the SELAK CLAN!

I greet thee, and wish thee all the courage and self-restraint whilst reading what us, the Selakians, have to say. May the Selak Force be with you... 'cause you'll need it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nazim [ ASEP 2008 ] says: (1:05:47 AM)

oi cina!

A Smile A Day Keeps The Wrinkles Away says: (1:05:56 AM)

hey

A Smile A Day Keeps The Wrinkles Away says: (1:06:03 AM)

saya sudah tulis

A Smile A Day Keeps The Wrinkles Away says: (1:06:08 AM)

when's ur turn

Nazim [ ASEP 2008 ] says: (1:06:21 AM)

i x tak tau apa nak tulis

A Smile A Day Keeps The Wrinkles Away says: (1:06:48 AM)

tulisja lah

Nazim [ ASEP 2008 ] says: (1:13:26 AM)

lol

Nazim [ ASEP 2008 ] says: (1:13:29 AM)

haha

Nazim [ ASEP 2008 ] says: (1:13:37 AM)

relax

Nazim [ ASEP 2008 ] says: (1:13:50 AM)

thingking noooooowwwwwww

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As you can see, Jay Wen (the Public Relations officer of our Clan) has insisted that I contribute a post in honour of the Clan. Thus, I shall do as he wishes and write a tad bit about the Selak Clan.

A brief history of SC: How Selak Clan came to be...

The weekend after PMR finishes, each and everyone of us joined a trip organised by Quek to Genting Highlands for some fun and joy. We came alone, or at least in different groups. As love brings lovers together, so does SELAK-ness.

"Anyone can be selak, but not everyone is Selak Clan material."

We met in the bus, all 8 of us. May it be Fate or divine intervention, we bonded during the trip to Genting Highlands. As we bonded, the SELAK-ness in each of us called out to each other. Since then, we are inseparable (except when someone goes offstation, of course). And since then we are known as the SELAK CLAN!

The Works: A day in the Selak Clan's shoes...

Our operational definition for SELAK is 'to be in a state of giddy happiness wrought by acts of utter foolishness'. Selak Clan members are true to their identity by being SELAK whenever and wherever possible. We uphold all that is considered SELAK by never turning from a challenge with our SELAK-ness, may it be from traversing the dark bridge from TC2 to TC1 at 12 o'clock (middle of the night), to climbing an escalator that is moving in the opposite direction, to making stupid jokes during movies, even to releasing a lethal dosage of racist jokes.

"The Selak-ness is strong within you."

The Members: Selak Clan's loyal Selakians...

DANESH: Known as Selak King, he embodies SELAK-ness in all that he does. His lethal racist jokes strikes fear into any that hears. His boldness in downing packets of sugar and mentos-es cowers the bravest of man. For he is, the Selak King, the SK.
JAY WEN: One of the 6 'CHINESE' inside the Clan. He is talented in all kinds off scouting, may it be guys or girls. His baby's-butt-smooth-fair-skin is just but a facade to hide the Beast within, the Love Guru.
QUEK: Known to be one who finds the elusive inner peace. In his quest for inner peace, he often travels deep within himself to a secluded part in his Mind, into the deep darkness of Lala-Land. With inner peace, he unleashes a death grip on whomsoever he wishes. Beware the 'Whacacaca' move of his. Beware, the Kampung Boy.
JASON: The Silent One no more. His machinations is part of the Clan's many successes. He is there to photograph our SELAK-ness. He is there to give careful insights. He is there to be Selak. He is the Selak Philosopher.
LEE: Not many has the ability to render their enemies senseless like Lee. He unleashes a high-toned-screech to impair the Clan's enemies senses. His screech also tends to induce others into a sensation of utter horrification by the sheer intensity of the screech. Thus, he is known as the Pondan.
JEROME: The Dato'. He is the elusive predator. He hides behind a veil of reserved opinions but strikes when all think he won't. He strikes hard and deadly with witty remarks and diabolical racist jokes. Dato' Jer strikes again.
JORDAN: He who misjudge Jordan is utterly doomed. He poses a shy-and-reserved facade to draw his prey in. Once his prey is within reach, he goes into a frenzy of utter giddy-ness. He knows no bounds to his seemingly limitless energy source whilst in the Frenzy.
NAZIM: The Malay. Nazim and Danesh are the only two non-chinese in the Clan. With his witty sarcasm and lethal racist remarks, he strikes deep inside enemy lines. He strikes the hardest when he join forces with the SELAK KING or with the LOVE GURU. There comes the Malay, there comes the Tengku.

"Find thy SELAK-ness in thyself"

- Selak Melayu [ the Tengku ]

Give you freedom to think of this title

2008-12-08T03:00:00.005+08:00

A Smile A Day Keeps The Wrinkles Away says:
quek u like to talk a lotlah
- J Ｔ - says:
go write la quek
_________________________________________________________________________________

So now you know what's happening, right?

"When I am given the chance to talk, I don't talk." selak-ed Quek

_________________________________________________________________________________

For now, I can only think of Selak King, JW and Tengku. Why? Surely not because I'm ~~gay~~. =.=''

Because once they saw this post, they will say:

" Woahhhhhhh! QUEK ACTS COOL! " selak-ed Selak King.

" GILER!!! GILER!!! GILER!!! WAKAOKAO WAKAOKAO!!!" selak-ed JW a.k.a Love Guru

" DIE LA YOU! HAHAHA!!!" selak-ed Tengku

" I thought u not in selak clan?!" selak-ed Lee

Others will just laugh.

If I marry 3 of them, i will be having many holidays. I celebrate a lot of festivals then. Christian, Buddhists, Hindu and Islam. Also, i have many friends from all races. :D

WALAO, WHAT AM I THINKING?? Then my son how? will they become abnormally dark or fair? But one thing I'm sure of it, he/she must be damn selak. Right, guys? And his name will be Tengku Quek JW bin Tengku Quek a/l danesh. Long name.

"Love someone, don't need reason 1." selak-ed JW a.k.a Love Guru

~~If I'm a gay, also not so flower-hearted until love 3 guys in a time lorh. Somemore this 3 guys meh. OWH! MAYBE!? WE ARE NOT RACISTS!! MULTI-RACIAL MAH!!!!~~

This post, is my first post and most probably the last post.

"What's your profession?"
"selak!! selak!! selak!!"
" WHAT? i cannot hear!! solat? fart? silat"
"SELAK!! SELAK!! SELAK!!"

HOPEFULLY THIS CLAN WILL ROCK FOREVER!! BECOMING THE MOST POPULAR CLAN IN THE WORLD!!! AND THIS BLOG WILL BE THE MOST VISISTED BLOG!! BEWARE!

I selak enough already. Goodbye! ~~*tired la, brother.*~~

-Selak Quek a.k.a Lala Boy.-

Selak Clan rules the day!

2008-12-08T02:30:00.009+08:00

Guess you guys have heard before
- crazy ppl
- funny ppl
- wat sort of ppl.. etc.

BT, have you ever heard of SELOK ppl?? Well here's a brief on it.
Here's a clan where it consists of selok ppl. The clan has been created by our own KING, Danesh da 'keling'.
We're are not just funny,we are crazy and last but not least... we are SELAK-Y (duno where da hell tis word came from).

Speaking about SELAK, the 1st person that comes into my mind is QUEK. The so called "cute and matured guy" haha. NO DOUBT. He often calls us dun selak and without realising he's the 1 that selak. He has his super reaction and his signature move was awesome , and it's called the WACHACHA move. ahaha. Follow on, it's our KING dey! He's the 1 that bring us all the laughters and joy. He will start selak-ing by showing off his "bluff-ing" skill and of course eating SUGAR PACKS haha. And QUEK was like NO!NO! can die... MEMANG LAWAK LAH THEY 2.

Wow not to mentioned lee, he was the 1 having a high magnificent tone and he shouts like a GAL. So he has been given a nick - PONDAN! And JORDAN, whenever u see him he will start taking off his BAJU and showing off his muscles. Xd

Here goes JEROME, he has been titled A slow-1-step guy (no offence hehe) Bt he's really 1 helpful guy lar. Talking about Nazim, our Tengku man. Maybe he's every gals fans becoz he's the MALAY lolz. He's da 1 that likes to talk about those silly racist jokes and we will burst into laughters. And finally!! Our philosopher JT. Put him last because he's our one and only photographer haha. Tat guy gila, he's a leng zai. Bt could he be more leng zai than ME?? jkjk lolz. To me, they Rox!! more rock than any other rockers around the world!

I've really enjoyed my days being wif you guys! Oh gosh, even could dump any girls to be wif you all. But, it's kinda IMPOSSIBLE for me Hehe.

Jw's theory, NO GAL = NO LIFE ahahahahahaha.

Gonna end it wif da SELAK CLAN'S THEME,
Giler giler giler , Wakakao , Puchaku pucaku , A wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Once and for all,
-- Selak Jw

Bein honest hehe.

2008-12-08T02:17:00.004+08:00

first..soli la..english tarak bagus =)
maybe wt i write all rubbish..dun like thn dun read la..comment anythin.z
what to write eh? i not good in this..ny geo pro hehe
time to counter evryone dy ^^

SK -> our leader..let u proud la..knw him since f1..used to b a very gud boy..nw changed to !@#$%^&* dy.always tease by him in d class since f2 til NOW.im used to it.haiz.this keling..when he's serious then very matured la..if nt thn selak..can see hw he selak in d chatbox...can search for his vid in youtube..spidey nigga if im nt mistaken..lol.thts all la.
JT -> thx.. i know my voice very sweet xD . actually is my natural ability la.nt pondan .ehem
kecil hati pulak,i admit i really kecil hati one..so u all must treat me better la..hehe.
i deserve it ! xD
Jer -> A quiet person diam diam ubi berisi haha..vry kind.. sumtimes counter ppl i also sked d ..lol
JW -> i've no idea why evryone callin him love guru.ketinggalan d..haiz.as jt say he has baby-fair-
like skin..mayb always eat 'Hoi Yin's curry me' xD!las time used to talk alot of crap with him.
but now..he maybe matured dy la..very cool..very generous person gua. haha.
quek-> this fella..got alot nickname la.. lalaboy,kampungboy..loves to guess ppl's mind,ask bout some relationship question,hold ppl's hand,show his serious face..i prefer d talkative quek thn d cool one la..cuter ma ..haha
jord-> quite gay wit him cos always share secret n go his hse n stay..lol.vry kind n generous aso.
ntg bad bout him gua.. xD
naz-> d only malay in SC ..daulat tengku.hamsap n open minded person..xD.

no offence k? sorry..haha

-- [Selak]-Lee

wadup, yo? (edited)

2008-12-08T02:04:00.002+08:00

First of all, i'd like to thank all the chinese that made this blog happen. You guys did a fantastic job.

While JT spent his teenage years serving Osama Bin Laden as flight attendant, i traded my soul to the devil to save the life of a loved one that died in the end anyways. He said he needed someone to do all his 'dirty' work. Every morning, i wake up in the middle of nowhere, beside my yellow bicycle. It seems that my bicycle has went through hell as it was still steaming with flame. Until one day, my subconscious brings me to a little town called Quantan, or was it Kwantan? Then i found Jesus there and he cast me into the body of a kid. Blahblahblah, and here i am now. My powers suppressed. Till when will my DEVASTATING POWERS be UNLEASHED? That would be a day, you wouldn't want to be in Quantan/Kwantan..

For the record, i was the one who suggested. So i kinda contributed. As a proud member of the Selak Clan and the author of this blog, i humbly welcome all you readers out there.

Yours truly,

-- Selak jer

Inspired, by our very own, Selak Philosopher.

The Selak Clan goes cyber!

2008-12-08T01:51:00.007+08:00

You can run but you cannot hide.

Now that the Selak Clan is entering the cyber world, be afraid, be very afraid, dear bloggers.

As the first member to blog the first post, I shall carve my way into the cyber abyssal and introduce myself.

Greetings and salutations dear readers, I am JT. Formerly a part of an elite squad formed by Osama Bin Laden himself, initially formed to take down the World Trade Center. But because of the unlikely events, my team had to abort the mission because we boarded the wrong plane. And into Malaysia I am now. Until recently when Danesh found me, one of the 6 others, meditating above my currently living home, on the roof with a 5ft metal rod strapped at the back of my head with thunderstorms ricocheting above me; he advised me to join his clan and rule the world with our sarcastic racist talks instead. I agreed without a second thought.

So that's my story. Now, are you afraid of me?

Continue on, I shall now address the rest and a short brief of who they really are. Starting with;

Danesh / Selak King - The founder of this elusive clan 2 months ago. Imbued with his natural abilities of selak-ness, his prowess are unmatched by any of us and now you know why he is crowned as the KING?
Jay Wen / Love Guru - He, my friend, are the most experienced member when it comes to relationships and teenage issues. Along with his wicked metaphors and baby-fair-like skin, no girls can resist the temptation.
Quek / LaLa Boy - Previously titled and currently often still, 'The Cute & Matured Quek', he would turn your day upside down with his signature move. Chanting "Wakachaaa" while doing it, no one could escape from his vile grip. Also, often times when the rest of the clan are doing inmature acts, he would shake his head and call us as the inmature gang without looking at the mirror; another one of his signature moves.
Nazim / Tengku - Merging his silly racist jokes with Danesh, he's one unstopabble foe, seriously. The only one in the clan that could blend in around humans of the opposite sex; outgoing and friendly at times, at times! Bwahaha. Let's just say his abilities are all based on racist jokes :p
Lee / High Tone Vocalist - With his deafening screeches and another signature move; the "kecil hati" act, his pleas are sometimes difficult to neglect. Nicknamed 'pondan' for his bizarre scream.
Jer / Dato' J - Nicknamed Dato' for specifical reasons, he's the one that would comment the current situation with his dry humors, sometimes racist. All in all, though not always in the center of attention, his cameo appearances are handy.
Jordan / Jordy - As Jay Wen implies, all you can do is watch him strip and let your sight do the rest. Bwahaha.

-- Selak Philosopher.

"Our selakness knows no bounds."